It was a hot Saturday afternoon in Lagos as she sped down Mobolaji Bank-Anthony towards Ikeja. her destination was Abule Egba. She had promised her sister she would be spending a few days with her before heading out of town. However she needed to attend the end of year goal setting event held somewhere in Ikeja on that same day.

She thought back at the event and how suddenly there was clarity for her. She realized that her path had been charted long before, she just wasn’t cognizant of it. Her tummy rumbled just then and she remembered she had eaten nothing but the Krispy Kreme Doughnut served at the event. Knowing the unpredictable nature of traffic in the coastal city, she made a quick stop at a restaurant and grabbed take-out for Lunch.

Connecting Computer Village and heading towards old Abeokuta Expressway, the Sun hammered down with such powerful intensity, it put the car Air Conditioning unit to shame. This time of the year, one would expect the dry wind and slightly cold air of Harmattan but like most seasons, Lagos always just seemed to defy the norm. The air was dry alright, but rather than a slightly chilly wind, it was the heat that came down. The city however had a laid-back mood to it this particular Saturday. It seemed that just like its people, the city itself was on holiday. “Oh this heat”, she thought as she contemplated shutting off the AC unit and rolling down the windows.

Just then she noticed the build-up of traffic on the Agege end of the old Abeokuta Expressway. “Not in this heat”, she muttered to no one in particular. She contemplated going through Agege or simply staying put on the Iyana-Ipaja route. She decided on the latter. Since there was traffic anyway, she might as well get down to her meal, she decided. The pool of traffic began moving sun-kere-kpa-kere in typical Lagos fashion, of course with drivers cutting each other off when a lane suddenly starts moving. She started to eat.

After over an hour of finishing her meal and still halfway from Iyana-Ipaja, she noticed a commotion on the lane beside her. Two commercial buses popularly called Danfo had stopped and the conductors lunged at each other, landing heavy blows in tune with the heat. Only in Lagos would you find two grown men exchanging blows in the full glare of the Sun and a mammoth crowd. Typical of Lagos, the gathering of supporters started urging the men on. With this commotion came a holding up of three lanes, leaving motorists beside and behind them honking impatiently. Of course, the actors were oblivious and the spectators were clearly enjoying every blow that connected.

She noticed then that the car ahead of her had stopped, despite having a clear path. Two men stepped out of the car, one lanky and the other big – both wearing recognizable items of the Nigerian army even though they were casually dressed. The lanky one opened the car’s boot looking for something to stop the two fighting men. In Nigeria, most Army officers use whips for such situations and where whips were not available, anything else would do – slaps, punches, belts, etc. The man closed the boot in anger as he couldn’t find anything to stop the fight with.

The big one of the officers moved to the centre of the fight, successfully separating the fighters. He grabbed one of them and started giving him slaps. At this time, the conductor began to beg, realizing his captor might be an “officer”. In one last effort to deal a heavy blow and with all the anger at the two men for causing unnecessary hold up, the big Army guy pulled back his fist and made to hit the conductor. He missed!

The sheer force of the blow must have pulled the arm out of its socket as the man screamed out in pain. The spectators who were already leaving, came back to help the “officer”. Perhaps thinking that it was just a muscle pain of some sort. However in less than two minutes, the man was crying like a baby. His friend had come back from looking for his corporate punishment tool when he was told what had happened. his friend in wanting to deal a painful blow had hurt himself. the lanky friend quickly got into the car, found a way to make a quick U-turn as three other men helped his injured friend into the car. the car sped off hurriedly in the opposite direction, most likely towards a hospital.

Traffic up ahead loosened up, and she continued on her journey What wouldn’t one see in Lagos?”, she muttered again to herself.

*****

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