Dear Reader,

It’s been what…6 months since my last post here? So much has happened in those months. Too much has happened in those months. Most importantly, I’ve had to sit with some interesting questions I still do not have answers to. I do have a lot of clarity, about what I want out of this life and what I do not absolutely give too many fucks about. So I thought I’d start this year by sharing a few thoughts with you. But first, Happy Year 2026.

I started dancing again in 2025 – not caring that I was my only audience. Dancing was/is one of the few things that I thoroughly enjoy(ed) doing. I also went back to watching football again (the one you play with an actual foot), watching games that were important to me. I also read a lot of books – from history to politics to biographies to fiction to management to romance. Every book a reminder that I still have a lot of places to go, a very important life to live. Sadly, doing all of these things made me realize how much I shrunk myself in the short years leading up to 2025. In the almost-four years since I moved to Canada.

Migrating does a number on you in a lot of ways. Unfortunately, I’m only now starting to wrap my head around it. I didn’t realize how much this migrant life has impacted me – not all of them in a good way. I lost myself in places where I shouldn’t even have been. I sat in places my shoes shouldn’t have walked. and I gave voices to people that weren’t fit to speak over my life. In navigating these new spaces, I let people think that my silence meant that I needed them to speak for me. I let people think that my ever sunny disposition meant that I lacked a spine, when it meant the calm before the tsunami. That my kindness meant there can’t be consequences to actions. I’ve had people comment on my being single. That it meant loneliness. I wish they knew. For once, I was free. Free of other people’s responsibilities. Free to just be. Free in ways that allowed me to pursue my goals with single-mindedness. Free in ways where my circle of worry is almost-zero. In ways I can give 110% to myself. It’s a gift that many people do not get to enjoy. For that, I’m thankful. Maybe one day, it will change and giving up that freedom will make me ask why I never did it before.

Great things did happen too. I met good people, with good intentions. I’m also realizing that this woman I am has done so many things alone, things that would have broken many people. Yet, here I am still standing. Still morphing. Finally understanding that even in this new always-on transition, even with the instability of a new system, a new way of life, I’m moving forward. I’m miles away from arrival, and better than I have been.

2025 was a turning point year for me in many ways. I finally understood why some things didn’t work out and why I needed to walk away from certain situations. I lost friends again, I gained sisters and brothers along the way. I realized that I was making waves for people who wouldn’t make a ripple for me. I learnt that people talked big and honoured little of their words. I learnt that words meant nothing when the actions that followed lack substance. And I learnt to distance myself from those. Not in anger, but in honour of myself.

November 26, 2025, I became a Canadian citizen – three and a half years after arriving the country as a permanent resident. And while I was enjoying that win, a few people thought to ask: so, what next? As someone who has always been on the chase for what next, one milestone after another, for once I wanted to enjoy that moment. Not to chase what next, but to celebrate right then. To look back knowing that I picked a life and a trajectory that is nothing short of amazing and made it my life. That there is no destination to rush towards, but the life I have right now. Massaging it into an even more beautiful life – even in transit. To make everyday the destination, the day to celebrate.

This post is about that celebration. Honouring the life I promised myself at 16, and knowing for sure that today is bright because I kept my eyes on the goal and on Allah SWT. That I don’t have to prove anything, that raising adults is not my responsibility. That I shouldn’t make things easy for anyone who is not making anything easy for me. That mothers and fathers can raise their own sons and daughters. This post is about living my life in honour of the woman of my dreams. The woman in the mirror every day. Me.